I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
