I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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