i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
only if we run a train.
done.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize