The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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