I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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