she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
