its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize