Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize