you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize