You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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