There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
everyone is single if you try hard enough
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Found the puke drawer
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
that is very illegal...i love you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
