At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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