Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize