I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize