I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Your cock deserves a montage
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
