mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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