Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
