ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
