do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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