So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Sext me about skeletons
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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