He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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