I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
