i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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