We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sry I called you an 8
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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