Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
