I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize