go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
