I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
