next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
