I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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