Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize