just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
how does that bad decision feel?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
