haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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