I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize