STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
