You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
