The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
