We're like a lot better than the average bears
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
