He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
