sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
