weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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