Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
