DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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