there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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