Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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