Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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