I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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