I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
