FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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