Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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