so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
