giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
There are leaves in my underwear?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
