Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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