like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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