she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize