So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
