We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
