there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
