i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
