I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
