in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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