Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
