IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
A bitchslap is in order.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
