Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
