I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
