ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
