is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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